I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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