i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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