I seem to have left my pride at pride
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
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