I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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