Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Randomize