By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Randomize