i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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