You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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