you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize