All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize