So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize