We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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