so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize