And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
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going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
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One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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