i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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