So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
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