Will you blow on my dice?
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize