i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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