It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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