a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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