A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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