i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Randomize