I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
They have beer where we have blood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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