I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're like a gay fantastic four
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
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