What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
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