I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize