Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
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