Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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