remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize