i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Drunk is not a location!
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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