Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize