Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize