There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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