ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
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