omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
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of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
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Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
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