I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
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I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
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Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
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