In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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