Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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