i don't like sucking hair
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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