So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
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You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
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future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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