she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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