True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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