I want to make a zoo with you.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize