you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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