Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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