we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize