I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
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