I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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