vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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