my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize